Oh The Douchebaggery

That title serves two purposes.

First of all, I have the flu.
That's wack.

And my birthday's coming up.
That, in and of itself, doesn't piss me off.

I have never been one who is afraid of aging.

Hell, I was telling bouncers all over the clubs of Tampa that I was 21 when I was a mere sixteen.

And I started rounding up to thirty when I was 28.

The point is, and I have mentioned this before, that I tend to get sick around the holidays.

And last year on my birthday, there was no exception to the rule.
Happy Birthday to me!

I suppose it could be stress, or, ahem, pre-gaming, that lowers our immune system's ability to defend itself.

There have been multiple times I claimed to be sick just to get out of a party.
My dance card is chock full, folks! You can't all have a piece of this!

Point is, my excuses inevitably turn out to be self-fulfilling prophesies.

I am reminded of way back when....
I must have been seven or eight and I was staying at my dad and step-mom's house for the weekend.

I would never want to go home to my mom's on Monday because the pops had cable, CABLE!

This was big.
This was when MTV still played music...and it was good.

So in order to bow out of going back home to my mom's and back to my hellish elementary school existence, I feigned illness.

I was rolling around, claiming I was dying, the whole spiel.
And, folks...Even when I am ordering a coffee, I am dramatic.

This shit was Liza Minelli over the top.

And what happened next?

I came down with a hardcore case of the chicken pox within hours.

Turns out you shouldn't fuck with deceit.

All this talk about my youth brings me to the second reason for said title.

I just watched The Wackness.

Totally dope!
I doped it right there cause it is set in the mid-nineties and has an awesome soundtrack, relevant props (hello! prototype Nintendo) and straight-up,nostalgia-inducing references.

Seriously one of the best movies I have seen in a while.

Word.