Oh The Douchebaggery

As you well know, I have been caught in the grips of some life-changing bull lately.
I just don't know what to do to fulfill my dream of making my life as awesome as it possibly could be.
I wanna be loving it like those air-jumpers in the mid-nineties era Toyota commercials.

Instead I feel like I am driving around life's highway in a Yugo.

So, I have a friend, Julia (x's and o's, my friend, and thanks for changing the landscape of my google analytics page to represent the foreign corners of the globe...keep on logging in...I needs to cover the global map, muahaha!) who is a trekker of the nether regions of our little planet.

She writes about her travels and gets a few odd jobs along the way.

Other words, she is living my dream.

I had it first!
Only I never had the determination or drive to make it happen.

Ladies and gents, if there is anything I have in abundance right know, it's determination and drive.

Something has got to change.

So, while Julia's been continent hopping and sending ecstatic reports all along the way, I have been sitting at home reading every last jet-setting account with more than an ounce or two (okay, maybe a kilo) of envy.

And as much as she has enjoyed her travels, my little butterfly wants to return to the cocoon of stability.

She suggested months ago that we move out west together.

I was all in, because it had been a plan of mine years ago, which was quickly thwarted when I ended up totaling my car in Memphis.

Graceland was sooo not worth it.

A moment of kitsch was all I got from what was supposed to be a soul-lifting sojourn.

So we have talked on and off about the possibilities.
The where and the when, as you have it.

Two days ago I got a report from Julia, who is now on her way back to the states.

She suggested Hawaii.

Fire up the poi, boys. I am there.

I had a fleeting moment where I doubted my Hawaii-iability.
I was thinking, "Could I really subsist in the great land of the brohan?"

But I had to mentally slap myself when I realized, Duh...It's Hawaii.
Who couldn't make a go of it there?

They have my two favorite natural features, the mountains and the ocean.

Crap. I think I might just be a wahine in the making.