Oh The Douchebaggery

It's gearing up to be election time and, as per the usual, everybody seems eager to share their views.

And because I am no stranger to espousing my opinions whenever and to whomever I please, (Dear RISD student in ironic Urban Outfitters tee, Everybody does NOT love an Italian girl---I happen to think Sofia Coppola can kiss a ripe ass....don't get me started on the theatrical version of the Virgin Suicides--rubbish!) people have been bending my ear for weeks about my take on the race.

There is a surfeit of coverage out there just gagging up the airwaves and I have had my fill.
Most of the the mainstream news is manufactured hype anyways.

The televised news program is a fairly boring genre.
There's no stunts, no laugh tracks, no real big draw most of the time.

I mean, ever heard the way these guys enunciate?

Take for example Stone Phillips (The fact that his "name" is Stone should tip you off that he's a fraudulent prick)..."I'm Stone Phillips. Tonight, a gruesome discovery--there seems to be a giant metal rod betwixt my ass cheeks. More after these commercial breaks".

Even respected news anchors like Brian Williams sound like douchenozzles.

Point is, I have enough problems to worry about than the fucking Dow Jones falling another hundred points. I get it---hell in a hand bag!

I have heard enough!

So, I vow to keep my eyes and ears off the news until this election blows over.
I will vote. I am no dummy.
I will watch the returns.
And depending on the outcome, I will breathe a sigh of relief and resume to my pundit-ing, or I will pack my bags and hitch a bus north.

Amen.