Oh The Douchebaggery

Why the deuce don't you love me?

Aaaargh.
I cannot be that bitter tard who complains about getting older while maintaining a perpetual singleton status.

But come the fuck on!

Every dude I meet is either in a relationship or contemplating screwing one of my friends.

What is so awful about me?
The ladies like me.
Here I go tooting my own horn, but, yeah, the ladies like me a lot.
I could be a seriously busy lesbian.

But I am not.

I choose the dudes.
Sorry ladies...don't mean to break those hearts but a butterfly has got to fly, ya' know?

So my mom has this theory.
And of course she's my mom so she might be a bit biased...but I like her story and I am fucking sticking to it.

Mom thinks I am just too smart for most bros.
That's the kind of rationale I can get down with.

So here is my challenge for the day...

If you own a pair of gonads and think you are up to it...
give a sista' a call.

I promise scintillating, mentally challenging convo and, if you play your cards right, a possible nip slip.

Oh yeah, boobs.

I have those.