Oh The Douchebaggery

I have been waxing lunatic lately.
Seriously, I eat a box of looney-tunes for breakfast each morning.

Those who don't follow this blog regularly may not know that I quit my job just in time for the worst economic collapse in American history.

Oh, yes I did!

So I have made finding a new place of employment my full time job.

Nobody will throw me a bone.

I honestly don't get it.
I am way over-qualified for most of the meager positions I apply to.
And consider my horn tooted, but I am damn personable.
I can rock an interview like AC/DC rocked a seventies era concert hall.

And yet, by noon today, I had sent my resume out to 3 different prospective employers and got back exactly 3 rejections.

I wanna' be done with the food industry.
I really do.

Nothing is sadder than a career waitress.

Shit, there is this one pizza delivery guy who frequents my place and must be pushing sixty who, if humanity has a heart, must be making bank...'cause "there but for the grace of god"...

That kind of decrepitude earns big tips.

So today I went to my mom's in order to "borrow" some dinner and was all kinds of confused.

I went on another of my epic walks and returned at a quarter to 7.

I could have sworn I left at 4.
I judged my time by the show she was watching before I left.

I remember distinctly because Beyonce was on.
I was like, "Mom, since when are you into Beyonce"?

She said something along the lines of, "Ah, not so much. But she's on Oprah"
You know women of a certain age group love the big O (no judging!).

So when I got home and pilfered her fridge I asked about Beyonce's performance.

Mom said, "That was yesterday".

Holy mother of hell.
I have lost track of time.

I need something to do.

Bartender, I'd like some milk with my looney-tunes!