Oh The Douchebaggery

Man oh man.

Do you remember when you were young and it was Christmas eve and you couldn't get to sleep because of the promise of shiny new toys awaiting you outside your bedroom door?
And then Christmas morning would come and for an hour or so, you were on top of the world.
And then Christmas night would dawn and you would lie in bed wondering where all the merriment went?

I hate the holidays.

I feel like we use them as a marker for our slow march towards death.

Thanksgiving was a few days ago.
It's a holiday I'm not really jiggy with at all.

Hey! Let's celebrate the raping of this great land of ours! With mashed potatoes! And dead birds!

I mean, thanks, Columbus.
Or was it Amerigo Vespucci?
All depends on your sixth grade teacher's account of "history", I suppose.

That said, I am lucky enough to have spent face time with family and friends.
And for that I am indeed thankful.

But holidays inevitably lead me to think about what exactly I was doing on said previous holiday.

Okay.
Last year at Thanksgiving I had a steady boyfriend.
Um, sucks that I don't now, but, honestly, I can give thanks that he's officially curb material.

I also had a full-time job.
Sucks that I don't now, but...
Yeah. That one still stings.

My sister was pregnant.
Uncomfortable for her.
Not so much me, really.
But I have a brand new member of the family.
And she rules! (but then, she is an Aquarius...so it goes without saying)

One of my B.F.F.'s had yet to take root elsewhere.
I miss you, banana!

But some of my friends have returned.
Thankful scores another!

I am bothered by so many elements of the whole holiday concept.

As soon as Halloween was over, all the fucking radio stations started playing Christmas music in heavy rotation.

Are you kidding?

Who bops along to Silver Bells when driving down the street?

I see you bobbin' yo' head...cause' those bells be a' jinglin'

For real?

There are maybe three Christmas songs I enjoy.
But only ONE time every 36 hours, please.

I'm getting off course here, but Jesus. (I meant that as an expletive. I wasn't naming him as the reason for the season)

Can't we just fast forward to New Years Eve.
Drinks, debauchery, making out with random strangers....that's a holiday I can get down with.