Oh The Douchebaggery

Apparently I wear depression well.

It's week two of my post-vacation reality check. Said check has been written with the subject line grim despair. Oh, snap. I really loathe my life. But hey! It's great to be passionate about something. Even if it's bitter, bitter, hate-itude, right?

And yet for some reason, when all I wanted to do today was find a nice comfy hole to crawl inside of and die, all I got was, "Wow, you look great"!

Meanwhile, the entire time I was on vacation and loving life I had a chin that looked like beef carpaccio (long story).

The whole day I was like what the hell? I need to get melancholy more often. (Dear God, I know I haven't written you since my first day of camp when I realized that Ginny Hornoffer had bigger boobs than me at a time when boobs were MY thing !----ahh she's probably a hooker now with a serious meth addiction. I mean you DID hear my prayer, right? But seriously, I was jesting about that whole "making my life more melancholy thing"...not so much about ruining Ginny "boobs McGee" Hornoffer's future).

So I get home from my daily torture session (p.s. thanks for the offer of boat drinks, Annie. I know you read this thing---and God help you 'cause you have no idea what you're getting yourself into--but I will so be taking you up on that offer soon) and read an article which offers some hope.

Scientists are actually on the verge of perfecting a cloak of invisibility. (http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/7553061.stm)

Worldly possessions, prepare to be sold!

If this thing actually pans out, I will be the first in line to buy.
Hell. I already spend fifty percent of my day trying to be invisible and now there is an actual possibility of making it a reality! Sweet, sweet, dream come true.

I think these things are actually in circulation already.

I mean every time I see a jackass in a Nickelback tee, it's like he's not there at all.

And because I feel like being generous and am not feeling very high-spirited myself...Allow me to light up your life with the Engrish of the day.

In honor of the ass-raping that is the Beijing Olympics...
http://www.engrish.com/