Oh The Douchebaggery

Yeah, things are looking different.

Trust me, it was PURELY unintentional. I really know nothing about these crazy thinking machines and going to online template tutorials is like being surrounded by a bunch of D&D playing, Steven Hawking worshipping egg-heads just blasting your intelligence.

I thought I'd spice things up on here a bit because I woke up at 6 AGAIN and had nothing better to do. Plus, my blog wasn't pretty enough, and from the research I have done on blogs and pretty much all things in general, beauty beats content. I'm living proof! I couldn't be more shallow and everyone loves me! I jest of course! People hate me. Jealous bitches....

So anywho, I found a template I liked and copied the code. It was a free site but I donated 3 bucks 'cause I support the arts and three dollars is all I could rationalize donating considering the salad days are officially over.

I am about to preview the code, but it's nearing 6:30 in the a.m. and my synapses aren't firing properly yet, so I accidentally press save code instead.

Oh my god. The shit looked Terrible (with a capital T, see what I did there?).

So I am frantic and trying to find my old template for hours to no avail. I was crying like a nerd on prom night (okay I just thought of my prom night and there were no tears... just a bunch of Carrie style plotting---one day, bitches---one day you will pay!).

So finally I settle on a template that is passable (i.e. doesn't feature puppies in a basket on the bottom, a scene from the Hobbit, or a banner at the top dedicated to Hogwart Academy...seriously these tech. people are nerdtastic).
I can't figure out how to make the thing look like I want it to and my computer keeps refusing my attempts to get the damnable code in there. I keep getting messages saying vague shit like; cannot be parsed, attempt failed because XrC^ doesn't align with PCP. Please reconfigure all gobbledygook and realign your lameness with your inferior posterior. The Sith is underrated....blah, blah, blah..computer jargon.

I am pulling out my hair and cursing the jerks responsible for these codes. I mean, come on!
I imagine that the aforementioned techies are sitting around in their moms' basements just having a big ol' laugh at my expense.

Typical imagined conversation:

Nerd One:Oh my gosh. This one is as stupid as the tape splicer behind Rise of the Machines. Remember 36.8 minutes in when you could clearly see the...(don't know where I'm going here, imagine somewhere very dorky)

Nerd Two: It's true! This one reminds me of that trombonist at band camp who didn't know her pitch classes from her spit valve.

Giggles abound over the usage of the term "spit valve"

Nerd Three: She's practically Kelly Bundy

Blank stares

Nerd Three: It was a Trivial Pursuit question. I fell on the pink spot.

Heads nod in communal acknowledgment of the dreaded arts and entertainment portion of Trivial Pursuit.

Followed by some laughs over "landing on the pink spot"

If there is anything American Pie has taught me---and it has taught me alot, my friends, is that nerds are dirty birds. (P.S. I'm a spelling bee champ and one time first chair of the Florida Youth Symphony...oh, the sweet flat, pre-pubescent tail I got!)

I digress.

Point is that, despite my idiocy and the 4 hours it took me, I got some semblance of my old site back.

p.s. i have no earthly clue as to how those two conversation bubbles ended up at the top of my page--the one's marked "posts" and "all comments", but you are my new hero if you can tell me how to get them off here.