'cause things are looking mighty bleak, my friend. I was browsing CNN.com this morning and read one of those stories that the editors sneak in there amidst all the heart-warming human interest "news" so as not to generate much hype. Don't get me started on the government control of the media! I swear to God, Amy Winehouse's punching incident eclipsed this shit. And this is the possible portent of the fucking APOCALYPSE! So, apparently for quite a while the Swedes (those supposedly pacifist but clearly dead-bent on nihilism dirty blond bitches) have been building something called a Large Hadron Collider. A what? The name even sounds like some Kubrick-esque scary-ass earth-eater. Dude, that was a lot of hyphen's...sorry, I'm downright panicked. So this Collider is basically more powerful than God and every other attempt at smashing atoms (you know, as in atomic m'effin' energy) and could potentially have the power to create black holes. No Earthling has seen a black hole yet. The shit is still theoretical. * But if this black hole actually forms, we could potentially be absorbed into nothingness. Earth was fun while it lasted! See You Never!!
The collider is set to get plugged in (sure that's probably not how it's operated) in August.
The thing is, I understand the interest behind letting this thingamajig get started. And now because I introduced my counter-point so eloquently, let me continue with my perfectly genius rationale for letting this play out. If this collider is able to tap into all of it's crazy commie Swede's foreseen possibilities, we could discover if string theory holds any water...the evidencing of quarks and such. And now, I am no scientist (unless you count my masters in krunkology) but from what I learned from a few New Yorker articles and Back to the Future, string theory is the root to time-travel. So either the world is going to end or I am going to be funkin' it up in the 3030's 'cause I hear them's times is blarnk! That's the lingo we use in the future, magdh.
*Although there was this one time in high school I ate some pretty powerful stuff and when I asked Alice and the talking rabbit where I was at, they just laughed and telepathed to me that I was on the other side.
1 comments:
I believe that the black hole thingamajig would be useful during our Fellini-esque nights. I really do.
Post a Comment