Oh The Douchebaggery

See what I did there?
It's fun with phonetics!
Snap! I did it again!

So, last week my mom and I were having a conversation when I made what I thought was a perfectly relevant observation (I think it might have had something to do with how pink is the spectrum's ultimate color winner---orange and yellow, you are sooo owned!) when she opined, "You are so weird. You have always been so weird. Even as a baby, you were so weird".

Okay, mom. I get it.

It's been coming up an awful lot lately.

My friend and I were having a discourse the other night about the ills of high school, the psychic scars that it leaves, and how nerds do indeed triumph.
I mean, doesn't it seem like people who were popular in high school always manage to abandon their cool status the minute their cheer leading uniforms and glamour shots become irrelevant?
And how were they relevant in the first place?

God, teenage-ism blows so hard.

My best friend does the most wonderfully precise recount of the day we met in high school.

It was my first day.
I had bonded with a chick in typing class over our "tats".
Oh, god!
I happened to get the most horrible offender covered up with yet another offender.
Don't get me started on tattoo regret.

I still have an ankh (yes, an ankh! so counter-culture, so unique, I know) on an area that fortunately doesn't see the light of day that often, but makes for some hilarious pillow-talk when it does get viewed.

Point is, the true test of any first day of the high school experience is the lunch room.

I never brought lunch. Not once.

So, my first day at this particular school, all I had on me was a bag of fire flavored jolly-ranchers. Mmmmm.
Do they still make those?

Never mind, my teeth weren't what they were 15 years ago.
I tried to eat a sugar daddy the other day and almost knocked out an entire row of chompers.
Damn human fallibility!

So, my friend reminisces that on the day of our meeting I said nothing but, "Psst" and then dropped a jolly rancher under the table and into her lap.

She's like, "You were sooo weird".

And then I was talking with another friend who was sharing her own horror stories about being an outsider and a nerd, when I said in agreement, "Oh, god, yeah! I was a total nerd".

And she says, "You aren't a nerd. You are just a freak".

So it's unanimous.

I was thinking about this today as I was walking around town (as I am wont to do, because I have now officially crossed the town-line into crazy-person-ville and have nothing better to do than amble about aimlessly...keep your recyclables safe, folks!) and having a conversation with myself.

I do it often when I think no one's watching.
Shut up! You do too.

Then I get home and read the news.
I find two bits that trouble me deeply.
1) Sarah Palin okay'd charging rape victims for test kits.
2)Global warming has gotten so bad that Polar bears are resorting to cannibalism.

I'll be renewing my visa soon.

Destination=Moon!

This little snippet made me feel 1000 times better.
Finally a voice (or voices) of reason!....

http://www.kpho.com/news/16758520/detail.html