Oh The Douchebaggery

So I am browsing the Craigslist Missed Connections today, because, let's face it, I am obsessed.
And I come across one that describes me and my friend to a T...
Something along the lines of, "Wow, you were hot". Definitely us, right?
Well, there were other factors at play in making my ultimate determination, of course.
They named the place my friend and I were hanging out at and seeing as how we were the only ladies there, and it was a M4W posting, Bingo!

Let me back up to the night in question.

My friend and I went out to watch the debate on the big screen.
After it was finally over, we and a few other girls decided for some godforsaken reason to go to the gay bar.

Let me clarify by saying we didn't go to the lesbian bar.
No we went to the dudes looking for dudes bar.
I am okay with that because ,as of late, I have grown aggravated with the encounters I have had at the places around town that we typically patronize.
That said, I usually only end up at the gay bar when I am hanging with one of my gay male friends. So I have a buffer, if you will.

I tell you what, the drag queen at the door was not happy to see us.
It was blatantly obvious. Afraid of a little competition, perhaps?
She had 'tude to spare, folks.
And all the guys at the bar were looking at us like we had some kind of agenda.

Let me reiterate, we were the only women in the establishment.

So my friend and I take a seat while the others go and engage in some tomfoolery on the dance floor.
This guy walks up to me, introduces himself, says something about how we look like we need some shots...and proceeds to heavily vibe us.
After our obvious snub, he casually walks away.
Afterwards, I ask my friend, "What the fuck... Is that dude trying to pick up ladies at a GAY bar?"
I believe he might benefit from rethinking his tactics.

It reminds me of this one bum that lived by the trash can outside my building in New York.
Everyday I would walk to school and he'd yell out, "Hey, ugly! Hey, ugly! Come over here, I got something I wanna' ask you".
Hurt my pride a little bit, but the guy was clearly drunk on the mad dog 24/7, so I can rationalize it by blaming the beer goggles.
Finally one day I had had enough. So I go over and say, "What?!! What do you have to ask me?"
He answers, "Come lay down naked beside me".
Ummm, might wanna try a different approach, bud.

Sorry about the tangent.
I just can't figure out dudes sometimes. Not to mention the whole ritual of going out to a bar and trying to meet someone.
It seems to me like the last place on earth you would expect to find a suitable mate.
I know it does happen on occasion. Hell, it's happened to me once or five times.

Okay, back to the missed connection.
I'm thinking this has got to be the guy (name withheld for obvious reasons).

So, the more I am thinking about it, the more I need to know!

I am away from my computer so I call up my partner in crime from the night in question and ask her to respond to the poster for details.

She does.
He responds.

Turns out, we are not the ladies in question. I had gotten the nights mixed up.

Oh well.
I wasn't looking for any romantic outcome. At. All.
I mean, dude is clearly confused about a few things.
And anyways, he wasn't my type.
No sir! I say expose your chest hair only when you're naked.

I have just always wanted to be a missed connection.

But here's where things get weird.

My friend writes back to say, sorry, wasn't us.
And the guy writes back, saying, "Too bad. I would love to chat sometime".
And, wait for it, he includes photos of himself!

Hunh?
What?

He's responding, sight unseen, to someone he's never met before on the premise that she is, well, a she?

Or maybe he admires the fact that she can use a keyboard?

Man oh man, I will never understand you guys.