Oh The Douchebaggery

I'm confused.
My body has a mind of it's own.
I mean clearly my body is comprised of many parts and of course one of those parts is a brain (a nice big juicy one, thank you!), so when I say my body has a mind of it's own, I mean metaphorically speaking.

I have been feeling like a total lard-ass lately due to lack of physical activity and a recent passion for cheese. Mmmm, gouda.
Plus, my "lady in waiting" is knocking on the door.
Things just haven't been feeling their utmost firmest.

Two nights ago I cracked.
Gluten be damned! The belly wants what it wants. And the belly wanted some pizza, DAMNIT!
So, I go to the place where I go when I needs the cheesy goodness.
The cashier knows me, or at least knows my typical order.
She has never once made any attempt at conversation with me...until this night.
She says, "Are you losing weight"?

I didn't even know how to respond.

Here's the thing.
I am sure this girl thought she was paying me some kind of compliment, no matter how ass-backwards it might have been.
Sadly, the majority of women I know feel that they need to lose weight.

But is it ever okay to comment on a stranger's appearance.
Would you say to an overweight person, "Geez, you are more portly than usual these days"?
I hope not, though it might be kinda' funny.
God, I'm an asshole.

And before I sound like a hypocrite, lemme explain the whole "feeling like a lard ass" thing.
I know I'm not fat. I just feel lazy and I do have that fear of "letting it all go" and becoming one with the sofa and a pack of Famous Amos. I could sooo go there.

Ah, sweet dreams. Sweet chocolate chippy dreams.

Okay, I've returned.
So, I felt taken aback by this girl's comment.
This morning I weighed myself expecting to see at least a little overage...but, NO!
I have actually lost weight.

Now I figure there are only two explanations for the recent lightening of my load.
1) You know how people are always saying, "So and So is carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders" when they are going through some shit?
Maybe this weight of the world actually manifests itself in the lbs. and mine is gone due to recent fun-employment.

2) The average adult brain weighs 400 grams (yes, I googled it). Now, I don't know a gram from a graham cracker, so I am unsure how that figure translates into pounds, or if it even does for that matter. Point is, maybe I have finally actually lost my mind and all the pesky weight that goes with it!