Oh The Douchebaggery

So sorry.

Let's just say I had a helluva whirlwind week which culminated in my lying in bed all day trying to recover.

Good times were spent writhing around and praying for god to end my suffering.
Excellent!

So, anywho, when I finally felt my motility returning, I forced myself to take a walk.

Of course it's raining. And hard.

For the love of mother nature! What the hell is happening?
Maine...Mother effiin' Maine is under a tropical storm warning.

As if I need another reason to leave the planet (besides the fact that McCain's popularity is on the rise and how the fuck did that happen considering the ass-whupping he took in the debates last night).
Dude is a total doppelganger of Quagmire. Honestly, what is wrong with his face?

Okay, back to my day.

I need to get out of the house. Screw the elements, I'll bring my umbrella.
So, I find aforementioned umbrella, leash up the hound, and get to walking.

It's sprinkling, but nothing to alert FEMA about, yet.

Ten minutes into my jaunt it starts to really come down end of days style.
I am fumbling with my umbrella, pressing the button and then manually trying to push the metal rods up....all to no avail. My cursed umbrella is broken. I am getting soaked.

So I turn around to get my damp ass home when I come to a cross-walk.
I am standing there with sopping wet hair, a more than likely anguished look on my face, holding onto an unruly dog and a bum umbrella--- when not one, but THREE cars pass me.

I have said it before, I will say it again...

What is wrong with your stupid heads?

White lines in street=stop for pedestrians.
Especially pissed off wet ones.

My urgency is (for lack of a better description) more urgent than your urgency.

You are in a moving vehicle with a roof.

I apologize and fully retract if you had a stubborn sun-roof that was malfunctioning.

Seriously, I have been there.

And in Florida, no less!
Those downpours are apocalyptically torrential.

Snap! Most uncomfortable twenty minutes of my life.

But my guess is, you just didn't give a fuck.

Perhaps, dear readers, you haven't gotten my drift...albeit a continental-sized one, but I need to get the hell out of New England.