Oh The Douchebaggery

No... today I bow my head in shame for my home state, South Carolina.

Now don't get me wrong, I always somewhat disliked South Carolina and the majority of people whom populate it. I moved from there when I was ten, so I'm kind of an ex-pat, which renders me innocent of whatever backwoods decision making they have going on down yonder. Yup! Darn-tootin, mammie! I'm a Yankee now!

South Carolina's greatest thinkers (apparently Jimmy Bob from the Beef and Tater' Shack , lil' Jeb "three fingers", and the local deacon) all decided that it would be an awesome ode to their dear Lord by constructing,

for sale, a Jesus license plate. Apparently this thing actually made it to the presses and could be adorning the back bumpers of late model Tranz-Am's and rusty pick-ups all over the Cackalacky.

How the hell did this go through (pardon the cursing , J-man)?

I imagine the conversation went a little like this...

Overweight white man in overalls: What's all this talkin' 'bout separation of church and state? Them's laws were written by a man in fancy pants and a pony-tail!

Of course there is no Jewish, Muslim, Hindu, or agnostic plate option.

If the choosing of a license plate is so arbitrary in South Carolina so as to render the Constitution null and void, I suggest we make the theme more fun then Jesus. That dude was a serious mellow-harsher!

How's about Metallica Rulz! I know a few people in the south who would opt to spend the afterlife with Metallica over Jesus if given the choice.

My vote's for a M.A.D.D. plate. It's got a positive message and it's non-secular. I think a lot of people would flip for a plate promoting the tenets of Mercy's Against Dumb Douchebags.