Oh The Douchebaggery

I was strolling the aisles of Whole Foods today when I heard a woman say the following bon mot into her cellphone: "Books are always so long and boring. I just can't stand them". Awesome.

Two aspects of this seriously profound observation bothered me.

1) This bitch is walking around having the most dull and half-assed conversation I have heard in a while and at a decibel level that is just inappropriate for public consumption. Do you think your anecdotes are so clever that they need to be shared? I understand that you need to use a cell phone in public at times. I'm guilty! But to have an ENTIRE fucking dialogue about the random doldrums that constitute your daily life within earshot of EVERYONE is just rude. Either put the phone down or develop a personality that could potentially make a voyeur out of me. I mean if you were talking about a burning sensation down south, a contract killing, or something even remotely eaves-drop worthy I might not mind listening.

2) Books are boring? Wow, that's a pretty broad statement.
Ever thought of trying a variety? Or do you just stick to the Encyclopedia and/or Ian McEwan novels (Yes, that's right, the toolbag responsible for Atonement...um, I feel the naseua coming...must ride the wave 'til it passes...good thoughts, good thoughts...okay, better now)?

That creative writing degree is looking pretty silly right now.

No, really. The student loans were worth every penny.

I use my degree everyday.

It's flat surface makes it the perfect base for rolling cigarettes on.